The Art of Sexual Surrender

 

As men, we tend to feel Love’s force most strongly when we deeply open to our partners in sex.

When we come into union with our partners, our hearts open.  Yes, we are more vulnerable, but there is another energy that can overshadow any fears we have about that.

It is the energy of Love.  What we are all seeking.

The little boy in us wants to know Love in a way that perhaps we never have before.  Or we want to recreate a moment we once had that has been challenging to conjure back.

There are many ways to invite Love into our lives and today, I want to share with you a practice around this so that you can really live this and have better sex and deeper intimacy.

If you are on the personal development path at all and have inquired or worked on yourself, you know that men expand when in service to the Feminine.  Maybe you haven’t heard it in quite those terms.  The truth is that we are always looking for ways to please our women.  And from this place is where we actually  open.  This is the path to conscious and intimate sex.

Underneath our bravado, conditioning, and fears, we want to FULLY be seen and received.  And for this to happen, your lover has to feel safe and open.

This then becomes a reciprocal relationship.  She (and you can swap out he for same sex relationships) is asking you to penetrate her heart.  And she is also asking you to open into her.  There are many things that need to be in place for this to happen.  And I am sure that you are wondering what they are so that you may experience deeper intimacy and juicier sex.

So, if we are speaking about serving a woman and inviting her into pleasure, one of the foundational pieces for this is for a man to be in his presence awareness.  If you ever have the fortune to sit in circle with other women and hear feedback about what they want from a man, the words that are repeated over and over again…

“I want to know he’s with me.”

“I so crave his presence…. Full on focused attention with me.”

“I want to know he can hold my wild, tender, quiet, sensual self.”

“When I get his presence, my heart melts and I am all his.”

So, what does this mean? Maybe you have heard me speak about this before.  And partly because as men sometimes we need to hear things many times before it lands.  And partly because I am so intrigued by this story I hear over and over again.  This need that then allows a woman to soften and open and receive her man in a new way.

Masculine Presence is showing up, over and over everyday.

When you look into her loving eyes, see her.

When you ask her a question, stay focused and present in conversation (no checking emails, texting, watching tv, zoning out).

When she is emotional, hold her (no fixing allowed for a bit of time).

When she feels doubt, reassure her that you are her greatest support.

When she is wild, tell her that you will leave her untamed and exactly how she is.

When you are overwhelmed or stressed, find an outlet to move your energy so that when you return to your relationship, you are in devotion.

Your presence is the container for her pleasure to be expressed.

When she opens, you have the opportunity to experience a great love flowing through you.

The more you show up, the more she will open to you.

The more she opens, the more opportunity you have to experience a depth of sexual pleasure.

A beautiful circle of connection, don’t you think?

Because we have not been taught simple ways of being present…. And because our society actually celebrates checking out in various way, this is a new way of being in yourself and relationship.  So be patient and compassionate with yourself.

I invite you to set an intention for the month of June to embody your Masculine Presence.

Everyday, remind yourself of the above simple actions.  And notice what happens as you do this.

I know that if you do this from an authentic place, you will experience the open loving, mind blowing, conscious sex you long for.

I would love to hear from you as you embark on this journey.

Let me know how your sex and intimacy shifts as you use her pleasure and your presence as guides.

 

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